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Apr
14
2008

The Great Pooptastrophie of ’08

Oh what a day it’s been and it’s only 11:06am. The pooptastrophie started this morning at around 10 while we were leisurely watching Bunnytown.

M: “Me pants wet.”

Mum: “Oh, no. Did you go pee-pees?”

M: “Yes”

Mum: “That’s weird since you just went pee-pees a few minutes ago, remember? Did you have a little accident?”

At this point I pulled down M’s pants to investigate and assess the amount of wetness only to discover a brown splatter like someone had thrown chocolate cake batter against a wall. Eeewwww! A shart!

We go into the bathroom to clean up and even after most of the mess was gone, I didn’t feel good about M getting dressed. So into the tub we go. Yeah, bath time! Since M is mostly clean, K can have her bath at the same time.

M and K were having a good time dumping water on each other, Mum was enjoying a cup of coffee, and the bathroom was once again a serene place. But not for long…

Mum: “K get down, no climbing!”

I get up to stop K from trying to climb up the very tiny slippery ledges, and that’s when I see it. Dangling.

Mum: “Code brown, people! This is not a drill. We have spotted a floater!”

I quickly scoop K out of the tub, the dangler falls, and I place her on the conveniently located potty beside the tub. I try to hold K on the potty with my foot, while I grab the flushable wipes and attempt to retrieve the floater. K repeatedly tries to get off of the potty, I retrieve and toss the offenders into the toilet, M sits in the tub unable to escape under her own power. I rescue M, and send her into a towel and out of the bathroom. K gets up from the potty again and has left a present. But not in the potty, on the side of the potty! Eeeewwww. She tries to escape the bathroom but I am too quick and I wrangle her into a towel and some toilet paper. Then she’s off to follow M and I am left to clean up the wreckage.

I empty the tub and hose it down with the hottest water that will come out of my shower. Clean the little potty, flush and then have to plunger the big toilet because it will only flush like 3 wipes at a time and not the 10 that I threw in there. Fun.

I hear from the bedroom, “oh no.” Great, now what?!  M has left a little tiny piddle on the carpet in K’s room. Yeah! M goes to the toilet, I fill the tub again, and go to catch a naked K before she decides to piddle on my floor too.

Now as I write this, both girls are enjoying a nice, warm, clean bath. But you just never know what dangers are lurking in these waters. Daaaa-du, Daaa-du, da-du, da-du, da-du… (think Jaws).

I do not get paid enough.

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About the author

Heather Thurmeier

3 comments

  1. Emily says:

    I love this one. I was laughing out loud! What a day or I should say what an hour.

  2. Leigh says:

    I have so been there. I feel for you!

    LnJmommy (DS)

  3. Autumn says:

    You know it’s got to be a good day when start off with poop and pee drama.

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